Word Rant, Pt. 1

I have a feeling this is going to be an ongoing series, so welcome to the very first installment of Word Rant (copyright pending/nonexistent). Basically, it's exactly what it sounds like--a segment where I quickly vent about words that are driving me crazy. Today's offender?

Thrifted

Attention all: This is not a word. Not even a little bit. This is a sad and annoying attempt to make an adorable activity out of the reality that you need cheap clothes and are spending hours sifting through layers of dust and rags. Either that, or a method of asserting your authority and irksome hipness, since you are cool enough to possess whatever strange "talent" or "gift" comes with driving to your local DI or Savers.

That sounded bitter. I didn't mean that. In all honesty, I do admire people who can find cute and wearable clothing at thrift stores. I've experienced that once or twice, and it does feel good. To those of you who have the vision to do that often and consistently, Mazel Tov. I salute you. But for sweet Pete's sake, when someone asks where you got that stylish belt, don't square your shoulders, stick up your nose, and say "it's thrifted." Say "I got it at [fill in the blank]." It's simpler, and makes me want to punch you in the face WAY less.

But back to the initial issue. "Thrifted" is not a word. "Thrift" in itself is not a verb. It's a noun, as it represents a quality, the quality to be prudent with money. In that wise, it is possible for a person to be "thrifty" or to "have thrift." But one cannot "thrift" something. It's not an action. I repeat, thrift is not a verb. Please adjust your vocabulary accordingly.

On a different, non-rant related note, I finally had a breakthrough on the guitar. I figured out 96% of the chords in Jenny and Johnny's cover of "Love Hurts."



Fun Fact: I was at that concert. Actually, whoever shot that must have been standing pretty dang close to me, because I was right up at the front. What do you expect? My desire to marry Jenny Lewis is well advertised. I love her. And this concert was incredible.

Anyway, I finally feel like I've earned the right to say that I play a pretty mean, mediocre guitar. Which completely beats what I used to say: that I was constantly trying and failing at playing the guitar. Good times. This experience came with another bonus--it allowed me to listen to "Love Hurts" ad nauseum without anyone having to ask if I was depressed or in deep mourning. Win for me!

Also, I say that I learned 96% because I still don't have the chords for the first two lines of the bridge. Once it gets to A I'm all good, but before that it's all guesswork. Point? If any skilled musicians read my blog, now is the time to show yourself.

In closing, I got new shoes. What a great day.

PS: The winner of the bromance poll has been determined. The overwhelming victors? Turk and JD, with Shawn and Gus as a close second. What a tight race! Thanks to everyone who participated.